Friday, May 29, 2009

The King and I

I have learned that some people don't believe my tales of woe. To suggest that I exaggerate my stories and take some sort of artistic license is ridiculous. So, to prove my point, I have indisputable photographic evidence of my childhood. It started young.

This is the First time of many that my mother tried to discard me at sea.

To this day I am convinced that the only reason Tony got these horrible glasses is because he knew that I would think it was cool. Diabolical!

Even at Christmas, all I wanted was a ducky. Bud I didn't get it... NO! Tony did. All I could do was dream. Notice the distain in my eye, the sad hopelessness in my face. Then look at Tony, happy, care free... has shoes. He had it all!

The thing I love about this picture is it really sums up my life up to this point. Yes, that is me. The sad little hobo in the bottom right. notice the white shirt, patches in the jeans, dirty socks, and what appears to be an extension cord as a belt. When you consider that I am far to young in this photo to pick my own costume, you have to wonder, who would put me in to a hobo costume? What kind of a sick individual would dress up one child as a drifter, and the other as the only known survivor of the planet Krypton.

All i know is Superman wasn't a Mexican, and he didn't wear gym shorts.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Mikesican of Mexizona

I am tired of all this Mexican racism going on in our fair state. When did it become okay to bad mouth my brethren!? Okay, I know what you are thinking... I look white. Which is why a lot of people think it is okay to bad mouth my people when I'm around. Unfortunately, my anglo mother cursed me with this blasted white skin, no one asked me about it! You can take a look at my brother above, hes my proof. Now, as much as I curse my skin, being half white half Mexican really opens up the amount of jokes I can tell, which is fantastic.

What is all this hatred of my people though? People actually seem to be offended by Mexican pride! Now, I understand, my ancestors didn't come to this country because they thought it would be fun to leave the lights and pizazz of Mexico to come slum it in America. They came here because America is great! That being said, who is it hurting that I am proud of where I came from? You know what the only difference is between Mexicans and Americans? When a Mexican is having trouble providing for his family, he risks his life to sneak in to another country and send money home. Little respect? Or maybe they should adopt the American method of running out on your family, making a cardboard sign that says "down on my luck, need handout" and standing on the side of the freeway waiting for a freebie! And yet people complain about my people standing on the side of the road looking for WORK. But if there is one thing America is great at is band wagon racism. Slavery, Japanese after WW2, Muslims after 9/11, and now Mexicans. Who is going to be next? My best friend Sam is a Bask. I fear for his future... sigh...
Viva Mexico!

So its official. From now on, I would like to be referred to as Mikesican the Middle Child.